paulaaaaa

I think--

No, I don't think.




I'm getting tired of being in KPOP. The whole fandom (except the music), I'm getting tired of it. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting exhausted with the fanwars and everything else, but I never thought there would come a time where I would tell myself that I'm letting it all go and just focus on the music itself. I mean, yeah, spazzing and pairings and everything, they're nice, they're good, and they're... jolly, but KPOP is more than just music, visuals, and all those stuff to me, it's like a relationship, to be honest (as weird as this is going to sound, lol). I started listening to KPOP almost 10 years ago, 2001 May 13, H.O.T's Outside Castle, on Channel V (I don't know if it was Channel V Asia, though).  It's where I confided to when I didn't have friends back then, listening to the music, and just, the feeling that finally, something was making you happy.

But now, there's a lot of things that made me just go, wow, this isn't the KPOP I knew. Yeah, things change, but it's not the KPOP that made me love. There were fanwars among a lot of things, and just, it made me exhausted looking at it.

It's not the KPOP I love.

Maybe I'm just spouting gibberish right now, but, I can't really explain how big KPOP is in my life. It maybe even stupid to say that it's THIS important to me, but it is. KPOP saved me from insanity, from the fact that I had suffered years of not having anyone by my side back then, it's where I ran to, the music and just.. yeah.

I think I'll say it as like, when you're moving from the house you've been living in for the past 10+ years to a new and better home. The house where you grew up, where you formed your first friends, where you spent your holidays and birthdays in, where you know you just feel safe and secured in that place, that there's no other place but that house even if it's old, and now you're moving to a new one and you can't help but just feel attached to the old one. Yeah, like that, at least.

Meh, I should go back to working (even though imafable04 is being a bad influence telling me to sleep =______=), or maybe I will sleep (D:< Issi :|)

Well, good night/morning/afternoon.

HEY IT'S 1:23 AM RIGHT NOW, AMAZI-- Eff you time, it's 1:24am now :|

Sorry Crystal and Clare D:



Forcing to cut trees cardboards = blisters


Baa ♥